The Cycle Of Violence Against Women Starts With Disrespect –  An Essential Checklist For Every Parent

Recently a student told me about a ten year old boy at school who ‘dumped’ his girlfriend for the 4th time, the student said “but this time he ‘really‘ dumped her”, he said to her: “…When we are older you will be homeless in the street with no money and I will drive past you with a hot chick and my Ferrari…”.
​Perhaps the most disturbing part of this story is,that it happened weeks ago and now  she is ‘going with’ him again!!!

Violence Against Women: Let’s Stop It At The Start: Australian Government:

“Not all disrespect towards women results in violence.
But all violence against women starts with disrespectful behaviour.

Disrespect starts with the beliefs and attitudes we develop from a young age.

Our children form their beliefs from the world around them – what they hear, see and talk about. And from the stories, people and experiences that are an integral part of their childhood”

Checklist for messages to give your children about respect.

​Do this checklist from Let’s stop it at The start Campaign


  • she has a right to be treated with respect by boys Yes No
  • that it’s not her fault when a boy insults, shouts at her or becomes aggressive Yes No
  • it’s wrong for boys to take, view or share pictures of girls without their permission Yes No
  • it’s important for adults to speak out against boys who are aggressive towards girls Yes No
  • who she could talk to, or where to go for help if a boy is aggressive towards her Yes No
  • It’s okay to stand up for herself Yes No


  • girls have the same right to be treated with respect as boys Yes No
  • insulting a girl isn’t acceptable Yes No
  • shouting at a girl is threatening behaviour Yes No
  • a boy isn’t entitled to harass or control a girl Yes No
  • taking, viewing or sharing pictures of a girl without her permission is wrong Yes No it’s important for adults to speak out against boys who are aggressive towards girls Yes No
  • who he could talk to, or where to go for help if he sees a boy being aggressive towards a girl Yes No
  • it’s not okay to pressure girls into any kind of sexual activity Yes No

Conversations to Stop it at the Start: click here

Factors that contribute to Domestic Violence

“Men tend to be more prone to becoming hostile and violent towards women if they:

  • have been socialised to adopt rigid, traditional gender roles and stereotypes (e.g., men should be competitive and dominant; women should be cooperative and nurturing) (VicHealth, 2007),
  • believe that men’s superiority over women is a ‘natural order’ that should be preserved (Reidy et al., 2009),
  • feel their masculinity or authority has been threatened – particularly if women have not complied with their gender role expectations (Gallagher & Parrott, 2011)”

This cluster of interacting factors that underpin the most common pattern of domestic violence are identified from decades of research by Australia’s leading domestic violence prevention agencies, such as Our Watch, VicHealth, DVRCV* and ANROWS  as outlined in an article By Dr Peter Streker in Psychology Today October 2015, Volume 37 | Issue 5

Streker goes on to say; if these factors are present in a culture that also reinforces male superiority and a culture that  excuses, justifies & promotes violence, then males may use domestic violence to express power and assert their control in intimate relationships and families.

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