SAFE and Trusted information about sex and relationships for 16+

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This page is a safe space for reliable and truthful information about relationships, human sexuality, health and wellbeing for people aged 16+. 

Click on the coloured boxes to find reliable links about relationships, sexual and reproductive health, i.e. sexual health checks,  information about Medicare, consent, respectful relationships, and body image. With a focus on learning about pleasurable and positive experiences. 

This page has been created by an Australian sexuality education business, that provides education resources to schools, teachers and parents. We want to provide you with a safe space for information all in the one place. We hope that  young people can have the knowledge  and resources that they need to enjoy fun, pleasurable, safe, healthy,  joyful and connected experiences and partnerships.

From the team at Talking The Talk Healthy Sexuality Education.

Safety first, where to go if someone needs help...

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What is SEXUAL HEALTH? 

When people think about sexual health, it’s usually stuff like sexually transmitted infections or unintended pregnancy. But it is so much more than that. Sexual health is about respectful relationships, consent pleasure , and the opportunity to have positive sexual experiences. 
 
If you want to learn more about this click these links: Body Talk and Get The Facts and Sexual Health Victoria's Seggs Uncensored Magazine it has "...the answers to the questions left unanswered in your social media feed..." 

 


How to navigate SEX and RELATIONSHIPS online

Sexual experiences are the best IRL, but it can also be fun to be sexy online. Online sexual encounters are often classified as ‘sex’ by law. So be aware of your choices, ask your self: “...is everyone safe?... am I providing a safe space for others? Do I feel safe?...” have good information before doing something that might have life long consequences, or is risky. If you are experimenting online make sure you know the laws to keep yourself and others safe.

 

Here is some examples of when it can go wrong, if someone has a nude image of you and they are threatening to share it with other people or post it online, eSafety can help. If they are posted online Take It Down is a reliable and safe website that can help you remove these images. Someone might send you an unwanted nude, and that’s not ok either. eSafety has advice you can follow if this happens.


How To Prevent Creating a Pregnancy

Contraception is helpful, because it means people can still participate in sexual activity while reducing the risk of creating an unintended pregnancy There are many different types of contraception, feel free to look here at what is most suitable. The most common form of contraception is the commonly named ‘male’ condom, as it is cheap and prevents the risk of both pregnancy and STIs. Buy them from the supermarket.
Watch this video here to learn how to use a ‘male’ condom .
This is an interesting video about how long it takes for a pregnancy to occur after sexual intercourse with no condom and no contraception being used.
Click here to learn more about reproduction and how to prevent creating a pregnancy.
Click here to learn about the menstrual cycle.
Click here to find where to access free male condoms in your State/Territory in Australia. For information about contraception, pregnancy and sexual health 1800 myoptions is a fantastic service. 


Sexual experiences and Respectful Relationships

‘Sex’ is a pretty unhelpful word, because it means so many different things to different people. But ultimately romantic, sexual, intimate encounters should always be fun, pleasurable, awesome, joyful, consensual , they might be smelly weird and awkward at times but they should never be harmful, regretful or painful.
People’s minds and bodies need to be ready for sexual experiences , sex is not for kids. Sexual experiences include sending nudes and watching porn, as well as physical intimate encounters with a partner. We have laws to protect ourselves and others. If you’re responsible enough to have sexual experiences, empower yourself with knowing about the law .
Sometimes relationships can be harmful or abusive, where one person can be controlling or manipulative. This is shown in this video about intimate partner violence . This is not an example of a healthy relationship. Learn about the difference between healthy and unhealthy relationships . Sometimes older people engage in inappropriate relationships with young people and even children. This is abuse and is illegal, part of the abuse - especially leading up to it can be called grooming, it is unfortunately very common online, here is a video about Grooming , it can be very subtle sometimes. Remember to see the help section if you need to, or talk to a trusted adult about anything in the video.


GENDER STEREOTYPES and how they can be HARMFUL

You might have heard about rigid gender stereotypes . Society has said boys and men need to be big, strong, lack emotion and take charge, and girls and women need to be ‘pretty’ to have value, are sensitive, emotional, and bossy.
These stereotypes are some of the patterns of thinking that can contribute to disrespect and ultimately, men’s violence against women and all genders, also known as gender-based violence. This video helps to explain this more and why it is so harmful. It’s important we learn and recognise gender stereotypes so that we can break them down. In reality, anyone can be who they want to be, regardless of their genitals. You can learn more about this here.


What is the big deal with PORN?

It’s Time We Talked about how porn is not an accurate depiction of healthy and positive sexual encounters. It often promotes men’s violence and domination over women, which is not an example of a respectful relationship. Porn is not always a realistic example of safe sexual activity, often lacking consent and the use of contraception like male condoms. Because of this, porn might negatively impact sexual encounters. Main stream porn often does not show the awesome and intimate, realistic, connection and experiences that happens during sexual encounters. It is designed as entertainment, it's often made up like movies with actors.  
It’s also important to remember that porn bodies are not typical bodies. They are the bodies of performers who have often made a lot of changes to their bodies. This can make people feel insecure about their own bodies and how they look. You can get help if porn is impacting you here.


BODIES come in all shapes and sizes

Is your body normal ? It’s important to celebrate the beauty of bodies and how they change throughout puberty . The Labia Library and the Vulva Gallery provides photos and drawings of all sorts of different anatomical variations of labia’s and vulva’s. Here is some art showing the diversity of bodies with a penis. We are looking for an educational website resource that shows bodies with penises. Let us know if you know of one we could add here.


What is a SEXUAL HEALTH CHECK?

To ensure safety of ourselves and others during sexual encounters, it’s important that people who are sexually active regularly get a sexual health check. A sexual health check involves discussing your sexual and reproductive health with a healthcare professional. This involves getting tested for an STI and discussing which type of contraception works best if required.
It is preferable to involve a trusted adult, however a parent doesn’t need to go with a young person. Check here to learn more information about sexual health checks and how often a person should get one.
It is completely normal to feel a little bit anxious before your first sexual health check, but they are completely normal! These videos role play a sexual health check and can give you an idea of what to expect:


I’m scared of getting tested, WHAT IF MY PARENTS FIND OUT?!!

It always best to talk to a trusted adult, especially parents or carers, but if you can’t, remember; all sexual health checks are private and confidential. However, if a young person is listed on their parent’s Medicare card and use this card at a sexual health check it is possible for parents to see that an appointment happened, but they won’t know what the appointment was about. If people don’t want parents to find out about appointments or sexual health check, here are some options:
Apply for own Medicare card if aged 15 or older. Follow the steps outlined here to find out how.
Find a sexual health clinic that offers a Medicare Ineligible Service here on The Drama Downunder . This means that people can access a free sexual health check without using their Medicare card.


What every sexually active person needs to know about STI's

When someone has a new partner, it is important to discuss if there have been previous partners and whether or not either one has had an STI before. Click here to learn about common STIs , their symptoms, how to get tested and how to get treated.
 
Everyone should consider getting tested before engaging in any sexual activity with each new partner.


Where should I go to get checked?

The Drama Down Under is a great resource for finding a sexual health clinic in every State/Territory in Australia. Searches can be filtered to find the best fit: such as LGBTQI+ friendly clinics or doctors, or clinics that provide rapid testing.


What happens if someone tests positive for an STI, now what?!

A healthcare professional will provide treatment for most infections, though not all are curable, they are manageable. The type of medication and treatment plan will depend on what STI is detected. It may only involve an antibiotic that is one dose. It’s important that people tell any former or current sexual partners of their positive status so they know to get tested. Not only will this help to prevent the spread of the infection, but it will allow them to access treatment and/or management if they are also positive. This can be a little nerve-wracking, but healthcare professionals can help people choose the right words to say. If still worried, people can tell sexual partner/s anonymously through Let Them Know.


Services for CULTURALLY & LINGUISTICALLY diverse young people

From Reach Out: “...it might be hard to find appropriate support out there. Maybe a lot of the tips out there are things like ‘talk to your parents’, when that might not be right for you. Maybe you’ve had a bad experience with mainstream health services, or the professionals you’ve spoken to just don’t get you. But you don’t have to deal with tough times or mental health challenges on your own – you just have to know where to look for support. Here’s our guide to culturally diverse and aware support services…” Click the sexual health services link if you are a culturally and linguistically diverse young person looking for support services that have a more expansive view of what it is like, growing up for people from all backgrounds.


Celebrating the DIVERSITY of humans

Every human is unique. Just like our thumb prints, our version of sexual identity  includes: physical sex, gender identity, gender expression and sexual orientation and are unique to everyone of us. For example people have preferences for  pronouns such as they,  she, he . Some of the  language  about human sexuality can be found  here. Sometimes it can be hard to talk about who we are, kids helpline  can help. Here are two resources that explain this. Gender Bread Person and Gender Unicorn. Click this resource or this  resource  if you need to talk to someone for support. Here are resources for  schools or  health services and professionals. Safety topics for online safety for LGBTIQA+ community. 


Strangulation  or Choking can be life-threatening

Strangulation has found its way into the sexual experiences of young people, but that does not mean that is safe, your or your partner's life can be at risk if you are not informed. We strongly recommend you do not ever intentionally strangle/choke somebody. Strangulation is one of the most deadly forms of physical domestic abuse 

This excellent article written by a researcher from Australia is reliable and accurate. Please show it to your friends.  This New Zealand article explains some of what you see in porn is made-up fantasy, not an instruction manual on how to have awesome sexual experiences.

Read how rough sex and choking is often sexual violence. Breathless is an Australian resource for young people.   This website is a safe space for teenagers worried about sexual behaviour. How to receive medical help if you have ever experienced strangulation.

Porn isn't a great educator of what is pleasurable. There are better things you can be doing with your hands, especially if you or your partner has a clitoris!

More clickable resources...

FOR ADULTS:

It is a Human Right  to have access to medically accurate, age appropriate, sexual health and wellbeing information at all ages and stages of life. 

Children deserve to understand their body and how it works, and about healthy relationships.  Especially when it comes to safety, health and wellbeing,  it is crucial that young people have access to comprehensive sexuality education.

Many children have  inadequate formal sexuality education or conversations with parents and carers. That is why Talking The Talk has developed this Young People’s resource aimed at 16+ people to access reliable and accurate content in one place. 

Everyone deserves healthy development and wellbeing experiences, as well as, happy, informed, positive, consensual,  joyful, pleasurable, intimate encounters and partnerships. Information is power when it comes to the best opportunities to have a safe and healthy sexual journey as Human Sexual Beings.

Our society does not do enough to prevent children from having  access to violent sexualised online content, harmful social media and advertising. This often becomes the default education. 

Parents & carers  overwhelmingly want their children to have this information but often feel uncomfortable when discussing human sexuality, respectful relationships and consent topics with their children and so often avoid it.  Many adults have never had adequate sexuality education themselves.


A very small vocal minority of adults try to actively withdraw, block and prevent sexual health,  consent and respectful relationship information we think this is neglectful, when overwhelming global evidence tells us that information provision keeps them safe healthy and happy.

Indeed evidence tells us that NOT providing it is actually harmful, i.e  in relation the prevention of child sexual abuse. Just look at the current stats from the 2023 Australian Maltreatment study! 

In the absence of accurate information, children are getting a sexuality education from the world around them; social media, internet, online mainstream pornography and popular culture, they deserve better than that. We hope you share this page wth your young person.