- Children’s questions are simple and not sexual, they do not experience sexual desire or intent
- Adults minds are filled with a sexual journey & thoughts, these are not relevant when answering kid’s questions
- Be positive
- Buy yourself some time and insight:
- “Oh great question! where did you hear about that?”
- “Wow I’m so glad you asked me that question, I’ve been meaning to talk to you about that, tell me what you already know about it?”
What is Sex?
It means a couple of things:
A way that two adults express their feelings for each other by using their bodies, minds & hearts.
During sex they talk, touch, play and cuddle in a very very special and private way.
Sex is not for kids. Children’s minds and bodies are not ready for sex.
Sex is often the word used to explain how a male and female adult make a baby by the woman accepting the penis into the vagina.
Sex can also be used to say what gender someone is; female or male are two examples.
What is rape?
Sometimes one person uses power over another person by forcing them to do something. Sometimes this is done using sex. A person forces the other person to do sexual things. It is illegal and it is never ok.
Is a part of the female body that is really sensitive to touch and so gives a female really good feelings when it is touched gently. It is in the vulva area.
It is an essential part of sex and intimacy for women.
People are assigned female or male at birth, but for some people this does not match with how their heart or brain feels about being female or male.
So a baby with male genitals, assigned male at birth, might grow up to feel more like a female in their heart, body and brain, she may say that she is a transgender female. It is very important that we acknowledge her as ‘she’ if that is what she wants. This is one version of normal as all people in our society are unique, there are many types of normal, you don’t just have to be a girl or boy, (female or male, woman or man). We are respectful to everybody in our society.
Wet dreams boys
When a boy’s body starts growing into a man he will start producing sperm in his testicles, his body also produces semen(fluid) to carry the sperm.
At times this fluid will leak out of his penis. Often this happens at night when he is asleep. Sometimes he won’t know why it has happened and sometimes it will happen because he has been thinking about love or being attracted to another person. It is normal and common.
Wet dreams girls
When a girl’s body starts growing into a woman the body starts have a tingling feeling in the vulva and may release lubrication into the vagina, from time to time. Often this happens at night when she is asleep. Sometimes she won’t know why it has happened and sometimes it will happen because she has been thinking about love or being attracted to another person. It is normal and common.
In our society we don’t really have a name for this type of pleasurable feeling in young females, when they have a romantic or sexy thought, but because of gender equality it is now more acceptable to talk about pleasure that females also experience – not just males.
When a girl starts growing into a woman, the eggs she was born with, get ready to make a baby every month. Every four weeks her body releases an egg from her ovaries. But because women usually have babies when they are older, there is no seed there to meet to make a baby. The egg is not needed so it makes it’s way out of the body through the vagina in some fluid that is similar to blood.
This special fluid is the soft wall tissue of the womb/uterus that was also getting ready for a fertilised egg (called an embryo) to attach to it. Because the special tissue is not needed that month it comes out of the vagina over a few days. It does not hurt like when a person bleeds from a cut.
Periods are normal and every female gets them.
Is when a person touches/massages their genital area. They do this because it feels nice/good/pleasurable. It is done in private only. Remember our parts of our body under our bathers are private parts.
- The internet is a great thing, but unfortunately there are some bad pictures and videos on there that are never ok for kids to see. In fact many adults never like seeing them either. There are several negative types of images such as violence, war, negative ideas about death and there is also images of people having fake sex.
- They do not show how people really have sex or express their love to each other. They are often disrespectful and aggressive/mean/violent.
- The actors bodies are changed with things like make up or the camera angle, just like in movies, so are not what most real bodies look like.
- Once you see them – you can’t ‘unsee’ them and they can have a negative impact on you especially when you are older.
- Some people like watching scary movies but many don’t, porn is like that. Much of it can make people feel bad like watching a really scary movie can make us have unpleasant feelings and thoughts.
- Just as movies show us spectacular car crashes, driving fast and trucks burning – it makes the movie exciting to watch but is not how you drive a car in real life. Porn is like that, fake and not really how people should treat each other or how people usually have sex in real life.
- In real life, Sex and intimacy (which is only for adults not children) is so much more exciting, pleasurable, special, private and makes the adults feel good.
What is a 69?
It is a type of sex.
It is a type of oral sex.
Sometimes when adults are intimate with each other or having sex, it might feel nice to put their mouth near or on the other person’s genital area.
Why does she have two mummies?
Families come in all shapes and sizes, it’s love that makes a ‘family’. Lisa’s family has two mummies, as you know, they all live in the same house together and her Dad lives in another house.
How did that baby get in her tummy?
That is a great question, I have been meaning to talk to you about that. She had a special egg and when that egg met with a special seed from a male, a baby started to grow from it. Where was her egg?
Most women have special eggs that can start growing a baby, the eggs live inside a woman’s tummy in a special little sac called an ovary.
Where does the seed come from?
It comes from a man. Men have the special seeds that are also needed to grow a baby, these live in their bodies in another special type of sac called a testicle.
Wow! How did the seed meet the egg in her tummy? Did she swallow the seed?
No wonder many of us avoid it all together!!!!
Come to one of my talks to see how this and many other stories end happily ever after and how to talk about them!